Finding My Tribe – The Moment I Knew I Was on the Right Path

 There are moments in life when nothing dramatic happens.

No fireworks. No grand revelation. No certainty about what comes next.

Just a quiet feeling that something is right.

That you’ve found your people and a place where you can be yourself

———-

For Jules, that moment came at an ICF Netherlands event.

It was January. Cold, dark, and at the end of a busy working day. The kind of evening when staying at home feels far more appealing than stepping into a room full of strangers. She almost didn’t go.

At the time, Jules was in the early stages of her coaching training, exploring what the next chapter of her life might look like. After decades working in project management leading teams, developing people, finding her greatest professional satisfaction in watching others grow she was beginning to ask what comes next. How could she continue contributing in a way that felt meaningful, once her corporate career eventually came to an end?

Coaching had caught her attention. Not as a title or a business opportunity, but as a way of genuinely helping people navigate change. The question was whether it was truly for her.

The only way to find out was to walk through the door.

Q: Before your first ICF NL event, what were you hoping for?

I was looking for validation, really. I wanted to know if this direction resonated with me whether this was something I genuinely wanted to invest my time, energy, and future in. I was testing myself. Is becoming a coach really real for me?

Q: What nearly stopped you from going and what got you through the door?

Just not knowing what I was stepping into. It was January, freezing cold, already dark and after a busy working day I almost said, why am I doing this? But I thought: if you don’t go, you’ll never find out, and then you’ll regret not having dipped your toe in the water. What have I got to lose? Nothing.

Q: When you arrived, was there a moment when something shifted?

I remember arriving and immediately noticing the energy in the room  a real warmth. People I didn’t know were turning to me and being curious: who are you, what brings you here? And I realised I didn’t quite know how to answer that question yet and it was completely fine. There was no expectation that I needed to fit a particular mould or arrive with a certain level of experience.

The event had a structured learning element too, where everyone was figuring things out together sitting with the aha moments and the things we didn’t quite get yet. That open, humble, vulnerable learning environment really resonated with me.

It felt like an embodiment of the very competencies I was trying to understand as someone new to coaching.

Q: What surprised you most about the community?

Two things. First, the diversity and I don’t just mean in the traditional sense. I mean that you can be at any stage of developing your skill set and that is genuinely welcome and embraced. There’s no one right way to be a coach or a specific mould.

Second, the absence of professional competition. Coming from a corporate background, I was used to spaces where status and visibility could take centre stage. Here it felt like people genuinely wanted each other to succeed. Encouragement rather than competition. A real sense of: we’re in it together.

“I felt appreciated for what I could bring and not judged for what I couldn’t bring yet.”

Q: How did it feel to find your tribe?

A settling. That’s the only way I can describe it. A real calm, grounded feeling this feels right, these are good people to be with, I can be part of this community. Not in a super excited or dramatic way. Just a genuine, heartfelt sense of: I think I’m on the right path.

Maybe that’s what finding your tribe really means. Not finding people who are exactly like you. Finding people who make it easier to be yourself.

Q: Did being part of this community change how you see yourself as a coach?

Definitely. When I started training I was a little unsure is this really a thing? Will people take me seriously? Meeting coaches with ten or fifteen years of experience grounded that for me. Watching how they work, being able to ask ‘why did you do it that way?’  that’s one of my favourite ways to learn. It makes it real.

I also found role models, supportive relationships, and people who were curious about the same things I was curious about. What I enjoy thinking about, other people enjoy thinking about too. And now I know where to find those people.

Q: What would you like to see from the community going forward?

Growth is great, financial health matters and it’s important that coaching is recognised in the wider professional world. But I hope ICF never becomes so focused on corporate leadership that other kinds of coaching feel less welcome. The principles that make this community what it is presence, diversity, inclusion, holding space those are its spirit. If we chase corporate relevance at the expense of that, something important gets lost.

“I found role models, supportive relationships and people who wre curious abou the same things as me .”

Q: Was there a particular moment or person from the events that stayed with you?

There was one experience that really moved me. At the second event I attended, Joy  led a sound healing session. For years I’d never quite understood why I loved singing and chanting mantras.  I’d done kundalini yoga and always felt so uplifted by it, especially in a group, but I couldn’t explain why. I’d sat with that question for years. And then Joy did her thing, and something just clicked. I was in tears. I knew I had to speak to her afterwards. It was one of those unexpected moments that reminds you this community holds space for the whole person not just the professional. This also allowed me to start learning about sound and how this could be part of the coaching experience.

Q: What would you say to a coach who’s curious but hesitant t join?

Try it once. Jump in. Don’t judge until you’ve tried it. Because sometimes what we’re really looking for isn’t another course, or another credential, or even a clear plan.

Sometimes what we’re looking for is a place where we feel at home. A place where we feel seen. A place where we quietly think: I think I’ve found my tribe.